James Hold This is one of those "be careful what you wish for" tales. Pinky has polka-dots. She doesn't like them and wishes they would go away. They do, only not the way she planned. For ages 6 and up.
James Hold 1. Chariots of the Texans -- Famed UFO investigator Erik Von Fritz, believing the gaunt-faced grappler is the son of Bigfoot, drafts our hero, J, to accompany Erik and his fiancée, Ripley, on an expedition to the remote jungle regions of the Texas-Mexico border. Captured by a lost native tribe, Erik becomes engaged to the chief’s daughter, Wotta-setta-nakas. J and Ripley escape by passing through a dimensional transporter but end up as prisoners of Santa Claus, who plans to put them to work in his toyshop. Overcoming this obstacle, they hook up with Melagris the turkey god and eventually make their way back to Texas where they discover the sarcophagus of the Viking Mummy from Outer Space...
2. A Chink in the Armor -- James Bond meets Marvel Comics when J is enlisted by Houston mayor L Moses Curly to act as bodyguard for Princess Fely of Davao in hope of gaining rights to their Philippine yo-yo distributorship. Unfortunately the Princess is kidnapped by the Eyes of Texas (a trio of villains strongly resembling rock band ZZ Top) who are intent on starting a war between Houston and Dallas. Assistance from the Idaho superhero team Special Services proves useless and J must save the princess on his own...
James Hold Back in the 1960s there was a cartoon show, Tennessee Tuxedo, about a penguin trying to make it in the world of men. Combine that with some Green Acres surrealism and a bit of Rocky and Bullwinkle wordplay and you have OUT OF TEXAS, an episodic fantasy chronicling the exploits of a cat that turns itself into a human being in a quest for acceptance and identity. Each tale spoofs a different genre, with each story building upon the other toward an eventual climax.
1. Dark Encounter -- Stepping out of a dense fog, a small gaunt-faced fellow with dark hair and blue eyes, who oddly resembles a cat seen earlier, confronts Jon Raas on a road out of Dallas. A spoof of the 1950s horror movie, The Crawling Hand.
2. Idolatry -- Political correctness counts as our cat-like hero confronts a vengeful South American idol stalking a Houston city park.
3. If It Quacks Like a Doc -- In homage to the “Doc Savage” pulp novels, Doc Quack and his test-tube created cohorts use their devastating FAY Ray to commit robbery and blackmail.
4. Serious Matters -- The gaunt-faced grappler helps solve the disappearance of participants at a charity golfing event.
5. Who Razed You? -- A “Who” style rock opera wherein our hero battles the renegade scientist “5:15” and his Independent Power Bass.
6. Lettuce Prey -- In the tradition of Godzilla, a giant Japanese cabbage from the Nat King Coleslaw Company menaces the Houston Ship Channel until the gaunt-faced grappler is pressed into service to pilot a karaoke robot, the Super Song Machine.
7. Penetration -- A female basketball player collapses at the free throw line, her spirit passing into the ball. The ball attacks our hero while, back at the hospital, the Little Richard quoting “Dr L” attempts to bring the girl back to reality.
8. Brainstorming -- A Mexican “El Santo” movie in which the gaunt-faced grappler pays a Halloween visit to the home of retired actors Jon Parradine and Evelyn Ankles and saves them from ghosts of the past.
James Hold "In that rare subgenre of Christian literature concerning cats that take human form and enter championship wrestling tournaments, OUT OF TEXAS 4 definitely rates in the top 10." – Merry Baker, The Kitchen Science Monitor
Easter weekend sees the gaunt-faced grappler and Josie battle the forces of evil, while both wrestle with questions of unrequited love.
1. Strawberry Feels Forever -- J enters “Weird Tales” territory as Good Friday finds Josie captured by the evil Justin Time, a man who has perpetuated his centuries-long existence by taking over the bodies of others. Using Josie as bait, he targets J as his next victim, only to be “bowled” over in the end.
2. Vengeance Is Mein -- It’s Easter Sunday and our heroes take a trip to Hell. In a newly discovered cave system on the grounds of the Hitchcock Dildo Factory, J and Jo encounter a rabbit-like creature who seeks to control the weather via his Tornado Watch. Josie attempts to express her love for J, only he is too smitten with the Philippine Princess to get the message. Music courtesy of the Doors.
3. Embarrass the Wind -- A “Perry Mason” story in which J stands accused of murder. With Jo as his defense attorney, and the returning turkey-god, Melagris, as her private investigator, they search for a timely clue to break the air-tight case against him.
James Hold The gaunt-faced grappler begins the six-week Easter season by entering a tournament to crown a new STW champion. Along the way, he must also wrestle with the question of which of two women he truly loves.
1. J O’Wolf
Professor Isaac Hugo, inspired by an Ed Wood movie, investigates J’s past by probing his ancestral memory—only to hear a “Fractured Fairy Tale” in which J rescues a Princess from an evil wizard and subsequently learns why apples are red. Musical cues provided by Derek and the Dominoes.
2. Remember the Aloe, Moe
A tribute to British rock group Procol Harum and actor George Zucco: STW promoter Gordon Paul launches a tournament to crown a new champion. As J prepares for his first round fight, the Viking Mummy from Outer Space, in the mosquito-like form of a tiny girl named Josie, turns up in his locker room. Together she and J, along with a potted aloe plant, thwart Sister Sludge’s plot to take over a small town using a mind-controlling bug spray known as ODOR. All this as J tries to get back in time for his match.
3. J O’Wolf’s 115th Dream
Bob Dylan provides the music for Isaac Hugo’s second experiment, in which J returns to the days of the Old West and once again rescues the Princess—this time from the World Rustling Federation—and lays the groundwork for the country music industry.
4. E’came, Esau, E’conquered
Virginia Wolfe Meets Prince when, following a “Mrs. Dalloway” inspired opening covering Round Two of the STW tournament, J, Jon Raas, and Melagris attend a séance. A bit of hanky-panky ensues, although not to the satisfaction of everyone involved.
5. Son of J O’Wolf
Isaac Hugo hears yet another version of how J rescued the Princess and came to marry her—after which he decides to pursue other ventures. George Thorogood provides an appropriate set of drinking songs.
James Hold Following his breakup with Josie, J-man resurrects his courier business and, for the next 40 days, travels up and down Interstate 10 trying to come to terms with things. He pays a visit to the museum director where his Houston adventures started, participates in a slasher movie, lands a gig with an unnamed rock band, visits a farm where he thwarts an alien invasion, then teaches a would-be author a lesson about cruelty to animals. Finally, following a war of words, he returns to Houston in hope of seeking out Josie, unaware of her apparent demise at the end of OOT 4.
1. Now Museum, Now You Don’t -- A sequel to “Idol, A Tree,” featuring Bryanosaurus Tex in a MacGyver meets Daniel tale.
2. Halloween: HMO -- A short slasher movie.
3. Beatitudes -- Or, “the bee stings in life are free.”
4. Amid The Alien Corn -- Hee-Haw meets The Outer Limits.
5. Guilt By Association -- An “A-plus” effort referencing Ambrose Bierce, Algernon Blackwood’s “The Windigo,” and the Association’s “Along Comes Mary.”
6. Over Sleepy Garden Walls -- A homage to John Lord, keyboardist with Deep Purple, and country artist Conway Twitty.
James Hold When Tropical Gale Kim leaves the city flooded, the gaunt-faced grappler holes up in a local diner, Entree the Giant, hoping to ride the storm out. Instead, he is approached by three sisters, members of a wrestling troupe known as the Cutie Pies, who seek his help in rescuing their father whom they believe has been kidnapped by the notorious ND Bag. A wild night of action, fun, and violence follows as together they face the brutal onslaught of Man and Nature.
James Hold What do cats think about when their humans aren't around? What thoughts occupy their minds when no one is there to disturb them? Unfortunately for the Cat of Many Colors leisure moments are few when next-door neighbor, Christina Preston, is menaced by a fiend intent on harming her in this follow-up to "Will It Go Round In Circles."
James Hold At a seaside park in sunny downtown Manila, a wronged girl seeks revenge. Can Buck Stardust set her troubled spirit at rest? Or is no man safe from the terrible vengeance of the Yellow Bird?
James Hold Fans of Bill Haley and the Comets may be disappointed to learn he and his band do not appear anywhere in this story. It does however feature Buck Stardust, a scantily clad damsel in distress, and some creepy flesh-eating caterpillars. That and the Philippines only mountain ski lodge. So please enjoy.
James Hold When the Abracadabrical Amazon falls victim to a cold, her servant Ziggurat must take up the mantle and—find her a doctor. At the same time, Ho-Li-Kau, the Malevolent Mandarin of Montrose, plots to take over Houston's city council. Can Ziggurat, with the help of another mystic, the daughter of Dr Weird, prevent this from happening? Or will he die frying?
James Hold Contrary to what you see in the movies, giant monsters do not limit their attacks to cities in Japan but strike neighboring Pacific Island nations as well. Such was the case during my time in the Philippines when—